What type of a guy are you?

Hola peeps, Im not sure I should be writing this down, especially coz tomorrow is eid, however I got this idea for about a week now and haven’t got the time to jot it down. Since today is a public holiday, here I am.

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This post going to ask a very fundamental question about yourself. It is about understanding yourself. Because if you don’t understand yourself, you will be seeking validation for everyone else. You need to know who you are inside out. If you don’t know who you are, you will be easily moved. Example if you beginning to change your personality to fit the person you are seeking validation from. That is not good and seen as weak at any point of any relationship, not ever.

So the thing is, a guy needs to see himself in one of the models or categories below to ensure that their personality is rooted and nobody can actually move you during an interaction. A person might be somewhere in between that categories, but it doesn’t matter at most. Most will know who they are by the descriptions. This will also help to certain extend for control a state on mind during an interaction. When a social interaction happens, two state of minds actually collide and guess what, the rooted state of mind actually will win over the interaction.

So following is the categories, which are (1) The Nice Guy, (2) The Good Guy, and (3) The Bad Guy. Following the conventional way, these are the sequence that the categories need to be arranged, but for this time, I’m going to go for a detour a little bit,

Reason ? you will know in seconds

So lets start,

(1) The Nice Guy

So who is the nice guy? A Guy who looking to do things for everyone else over himself , don’t get me wrong here folks , doing things for others is good, but the thing is NOT over yourself . Well a good leader will always put their people over himself once a while, but at a certain point you can’t put other people’s feeling over yourself all the time especially if we are talking about your girlfriend.

An example of this is, let say that you and your girl plan to play badminton or tennis or whatever sports, A nice guy’s mind set will be,

(Nice Guy) : Owh man, I love her so much that I will let her win all the games I play with her, I bet she will be proud of herself and love me even more after she wins. After that I’m going to tell her how good her game over me.

Letting her win! Is that the thing to do? Definitely a big NO NO. Basically in sports, you have to play your best and she has to play at her best, both have the responsibility to hit the shuttle/ ball over the net and they have to hit it back . That’s the fun of it. In the moment it might seems that it is the nice thing to do, but note that women are intuitive creatures, they will sense that you are letting her win all the time, and by the time it’s over, you might feel good of letting her win, but she might not show it that she is frustrated over what just happened.

Well of course your mom have thought you manners on dealing with the opposite sex, however playing at you best is not being rude or impolite , its being acceptance of whatever the real outcome of the game. If she wins over you after you put in your best, trust me she will know it.

This analogy is can also be used in a relationship, basically a guy and a girl need to put their best foot forward. This will make each person feel that they have invested in the relationship and wanting to keep the relationship even more.

The problem here is, so many guys have been conditioned by media, movies, tvs, magazine to think that being a nice guy and portraying a nice guy behavior is what a women want, but unfortunately it is far from the truth. Well don’t get me wrong here guys, nice guys DO get into a relationship with girls, the thing is he will end up with girls with low self-esteem, Why? This is because these girls will take it what first drops in front of their eyes. There will be no chase, there will be no challenge, there will be no thrill in the relationship because she will always be treated nice and place on the pedestals all the time without having to work for it. And guess what, she will end up cheating on him, why? At one time, there will come another guy who gives her a slight of a challenge, gives her chance to invest in him and she will end up with him.

So there it is, if you want to be the nice guy, go ahead, If you feel that you are a nice guy, you might want to think to change the stereotype mindset.

(3) The Bad Guy

A bad guy is a guy who is disrespect of other people, does not care about other people, and maybe he would be physically, psychologically or verbally abusive to his girl. The bad guy also maybe will force his girl to do things that she don’t want to do, to round it all out, a bad guy is a guy who is not good to the people close to him.

A good thing about a bad boy, is that he is naturally aggressive and assertive in nature. Guys are naturally on a constant lookout for girls, however most don’t have the guts to get there and talk to them. Bad boys are different because have some oozing confidence of themselves, they will actually approach and convey their interest.

Bad boys exhale a mixture of danger and pleasure that creates attraction. Bad boys do get into relationship, but the thing is, the quality of the girls that they date. Bad boys usually date girls that somewhat abused in one or the other ways in their past. The reason why these girls go to this guys is that humans naturally tend to be at comfort at familiar conditions. Studied have shown that girls tend to date guys who have the same qualities as their father. These girls might not want to be treated badly, but they have experience it before, hence it’s better to be on tested waters rather than on an unknown territory. That’s why this girls, although they don’t like to be hurt, but they are attracted and move towards these bad boys.

I wonder one thing though, these bad guys usually will get girls which is good looking and above average. Does it runs in their genes or something? Example is our home grown Mat rempits, once I saw one of their “tribal leaders” (by the way he is the center of the group) is holding two of the most beautiful girls I’ve seen on each arm. However from their “sense of fashion” , I believed that there are definitely scared .

Being the bad guy will get you good looking girls, but usually they are emotionally scarred in one way or another. My take, it is better to be end up with an average looking girl with a great personality.

(2) The Good Guy

The good guy is somewhere in the middle of the nice guy and bad guy, as you can see from the description, the nice guy is a guy who put himself down to please others, whereas a bad guy is a guy who abuse his people.

A good guy have the confidence in him, when he sees something that he wants, he will go after it. He won’t be bossy to his people, but persuade his people to do something by his charisma. A good guy knows that he is wanted hence he won’t put himself down to please others, although sometimes as a leader of his group he will do this, but he will know it until a certain extend that he is being used and he will stop. A good guy knows when he is being used. Even a good guy have confidence, he treats his girl well , he respect them for who she is and is seen as a provider in a relationship to the extent that he feels that he is being used. He is not being used and he don’t use others.

Being confidence is a tricky way of dealing with situation that comes your way.

Let just say that you are on a first date with a girl you have just meet and you are in a car with her. Since this girl is so hot, you are getting butterflies all over your stomach all day, and then suddenly out of the blue, you “Farted”.’

A nice guy will get an awkward feeling and say something along this line;

Nice Guy: OMG, I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to fart, I am soooo sorry.. Let me wind down the windows. [worried]

A confident good guy will never apologize for being human(it is natural by the way), instead, he will make fun of it, or tease her on it, at the end of the day both of them will go home laughing just by thinking on what had happened.

Good Guy : Oops, I think you might want to get a taxi back home[smile]

Or

Good Guy: I bet you can’t beat that [smile]

The key is to acknowledge what just happened and make fun out of it. She has to know that you are playing, so make sure you deliver it with a smile. And if she gets upset over this, after you have delivered it correctly, then she is not worth it. If she can’t accept you today, she can’t accept you being human one year from now.

WARNING: I don’t encourage you to fart on the first date just for a shit test the girl, this is just a simulation of a worst case scenario.

So there you have it, you should know where you stand and ultimately, you should be (or wanting to be) the good guy, he puts up challenge in a relationship and make both of them feel invested in it. At the same time, he respects and places her girl at the same level as he is.

So what type of a guy are you?

Heroes Redemption Comic Con Teaser

Following post will include Spoilers that you should not know until September 21st.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!





This new teaser is out for one week and damn... i didnt catch it on youtube... Anyway the overall teaser looks superbly amazing.. i would expect Volume 5, Redemption would be more drama rather than super power fighting and special effects.. although i ate up Volume 3, Villans (papa Petrelli was awesome villain) and Volume 4, Fugitive (overall a good storyline and mini arcs, Sylar was wicked)

For those who didt catch volume finale for Fugitive, Nathan was killed by Sylar, Sylar was paralyze by Peter, somehow Angela and HRG manage to convince Matt Parkman to use his mind mojo jojo to convice Sylar that he is Nathan.

If you find that is complicated, it is because it is complicated..

So one of the story arcs we can expect to see in Volume 5 is that Nathan being a ticking time bom waiting to change to Sylar...

Some notable new characters in Volume 5

Samuel Sullivan

• My Guess this guy is a ring leader for a Carnival ring for special people.
• Hid Mojo is called Terakenesis, ability to move the earth..
• Most probably the new villain for Volume 5.
  

Lydia

• This girl have someting to do with tatoos
• Since we do not have Mr Issac anymore i would think that her tatoos are precognitive in nature

My hopes for Volume 5

• Claire to shut up on trying to be normal.. the "trying to be normal" story arc is beginning to stale
• Peter to get his full powers back so that he could kick the ass off sylar butt(sorry there sylar fans)
• Ali Larter to stay in the show..she's totally fine....
• No more Danco..we had enough of him already..

Thats my list so far.. hope Heroes redeem itself with Volume 5.

p/s: Ali Larter just got married..... AAaarrrghh!

after a month of sore eye

after a month of having a Hordeolum on the right eye, went to Pantai to have the uppercut on the eye lid

So this is the outcome....

tadaa.......











Bad Huh...cant get myself to smile for the camera..
good thing is that i felt like Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) from Pirate of the Caribbeans...that much closer to be a Don Juan De Marco.. haha

tick tick tick tick BOOM!

huhuu.. being stuck in front of my lappy completing Comm for manager Final exam.. this is impossible.. got to get out from this

Anyways..enjoy this song.. from a swedish band called The Hives..

a high energy song.. this is what i need now..



Tick Tick Boom lyrics

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was right all along
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you come taggin' along

Yeah, exhibit A, on the tray, what you say?
As I throw it in your face
Yeah, exhibit B, what you see? Well that's me,
I put it back in your place

Yeah, I done it before and I can do it some more
So what you waiting for?

Yeah, I was right all along

'Cause I have done it before and I can do it some more
I got my eye on the score
I'm gonna cut to the core
It's too late it's too soon or is it?
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was right, you were wrong
Yeah, yeah, yeah, going, going you're gone

I saw your hesitating, waiting too much
'till it slipped through your hands
and then you stagger to your feet and out the door
'cause there's not second chance

That's right!

'Cause I have done it before and I can do it some more
I got my eye on the score
I'm gonna cut to the core
It's too late it's too soon or is it?
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom

Check it

And you come crying to me - but it's too late
the man you try hard to be - but it's too late
get your head out the sand - but it's too late
it's too late, too late, too late, too late

Oh yeah, but it's too late
Yeah, but it's too late
get your head out the sand, it's too late
It's too late, too late

You know I've done it before and I can do it some more
I got my eye on the score
I'm gonna cut to the core
I'm gonna cut to the core
It's too late it's too soon
It's too late it's too soon
It's too late it's too soon

Or is it?
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom

The Naked Truth..Picking up Girls on 6th Street

This is so freaking hilarious.. these girls got it spot on....

Theological Fracas in the Cyberworld

I found this article on this blog, and it seems to be interesting analysis indeed. It have been years since my last debate and i grew tired of it.. im tired as Decepticon's Jet Fire to tired of waging war with the Autobots.. ROLF
Credit: H. Muhammad
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by H. Muhammad

This whole article is about observation and analysis on human consciousness in its cyber dimensional form. It is purely based on observations and analysis on conversations, discussions and activities in a number of Muslims cyber communities.

If the human mind determines the shape of their social structure and culture within the parameter of their community in the physical world, this article attempts to reveal the pattern of cyber social community in the cyber world. It highlights the diverse theological patterns of understanding of commonly shared theological concepts. These patterns suggest the free flow of ‘ideas’ as a result of freedom of thoughts. The observation will also reveals how each community react to ‘stimuli of dissimilarity’ in the event of ‘idea’ clash. It is interesting to note how the outcomes of the clashes of theological ideas would affect the individuals within a cyber community. Taking that into consideration; one may ask, how would that reflect in the physical world and would there be lessons to learn from it?

This piece is specifically about the debates that have been going on endlessly between the ‘Sunni’ and the ‘Anti Hadis’ advocators. Please note that the labels Sunni and Anti-Hadis are used in this article solely for ease of understanding, as these are the commonly used terms. Also the 'war situation' in this article is metaphorically used to depict cyber-debate solely for the purpose of making it a bit more interesting.


The community.

It is a known fact that there are thousands of religious forums and email groups (cyber communities) on the net worldwide. And among them are forums and groups that are moderated by groups of Sunnis. Sunnis generally are those who uphold the Quran and Sunna (derived from Hadis). Their communities in the cyber forums are usually set up and run by Islamic NGOs, Student Associations, Dakwah groups and other sub-sect of all kinds. There are usually some key respected figures participating in the groups who for example are high position religious figures, political figures, Ustaz etc.

‘Anti Hadis’ on the other hand is a label given to those who do not believe in the authenticity of Hadis and do not consider Hadis to be a valid reference/guidance besides the Quran in order to elucidate the religion of Islam. They are people who uphold nothing but the Quran as their source of divine guidance.

In time, some of these cyber communities turned into battlegrounds between ‘Sunnis’ and ‘Anti Hadis’. Prior to joining such groups, 'Anti Hadis' will usually do some intelligence gathering. They will look up for groups or forums that are not moderated with high number of memberships. The more the merrier. These 'Anti Hadis' are deemed the Special Forces commandoes. They would slip-in into targeted Sunni cyber community in small numbers or some would prefer to be lone rangers. They will survey the area and do their target analysis. Upon the Anti Hadis commandoes’ first strike on the Sunni community, one could see the formation of the Sunni Brigade (described below) almost automatically.


The Sunni Brigade.

Sunni brigade in general can be classified into four groups and they are: Sideliners. True followers Replacement killers. Crusaders.

1. Sideliners.

These sideliners are the majority. They took up more than 95% of the Sunni brigade. They come from a wide spectrum of backgrounds. They are in stand-by mode. They never participate in any of the clashes directly but there are some who would watch the progress closely. There will be no input coming from these sideliners. Within this group are a small number of them who are just fond of forwarding email messages. It is safe to say that quite a chunk of those messages are religious rubbish. At times one could find a lot of religious rubbish going around on the net in which quite a number of them are so sickening that it would bring embarrassment and degradation to the religion of Islam itself.

2. True followers.

True followers are a very interesting lot. These are the people who would ask questions during ‘ceramah’ or religious Internet Q&A sites. Their favourite sites are religious sites or just about any ustaz sites. They are most likely those who would have complete collection of Raihan or Rabbani nasyid albums. Some of them would have expensive Arabic khat art on their living room walls and in their car they would probably have ornaments of 'ALLAH and MUHAMMAD' or stickers of 'doa sebelum memandu' in Arabic. They usually 'short sell' themselves. They underestimate their own capability. They believe that religious matters are only for those with certain qualifications. They believe that they can fall into apostasy accidentally. Therefore, after reading books like Sulman Rushdy's Satanic Verses, they'll 'mengucap'. Some goes into the extreme of avoiding altogether those kinds of books. They are usually with low interest in the subject but nevertheless highly spiritedsoldiers. You can easily identify their inputs during debates. Their messages are usually short, merely showing their support to the other Sunnis and also to show others which side they're on. Nonetheless, some do write trashy remarks. They seldom have any points to make, but instead they would forward arguments or articles, which they see fit. They probably do this because they wouldn’t want to be responsible of thinking. They sometimes try reverse-psychology or intimidation techniques. Unfortunately sad to say, they all fire blanks.

3. Replacement Killers.

They are mostly smarter and more intelligent. They are those with high interest in the subject and highly spirited soldier at the same time. This group is usually in the process of learning the trick of the trade. They arm themselves with knowledge and would have started to do their own research. They are simple people who you’d most probably rub shoulders with at 'pasar malam' or ordinary folks who are waiting in line at the cashiers in TESCO or CAREFOURRE. They are mostly sincere, cool and polite in their inputs. They are the ones who would probably ask questions during a debate. At this level they have no 'killer weapons' yet but do watch out for them. Just wait and see how they will rise and come back with more advanced and sophisticated 'killing machine' in a short time. They are the ones who will be ardent contender to the 'Anti Hadis' commandoes.

4. Crusaders.

These are the cream of the crops. They can smell 'Anti Hadis' from miles away. They knew all the tactical warfare of 'Anti Hadis'. The instant an 'Anti Hadis' make a slight move they will be put under full constant surveillance by these Crusaders. Crusaders are also the ones who would be telling off the 'rubbish forwarders' for the junks they pass around. Crusaders can be recognized through their well-structured writings and their arguments would follow a certain flow. As expected, they choose to assume the responsibility of guarding the Sunni's faith and the faith of its followers. Generally, Crusaders can be classified into two. They are i. Formal Crusaders and ii. Informal Crusaders.

i. 'Formal' Crusaders are those who studied religion formally. They are the graduates of Al Azhar, UIA, University of Cairo, Medina U. etc. They hold degree in Feqah, Revealed Knowledge etc from these institutions. They usually hold high positions in government religious dept., NGOs, as well as key figures in political parties. They have vast religious knowledge but unfortunately they don't have good stamina. They have the advantage of possessing ‘nuclear bombs’. Their ultimate tactic is to call up the moderators of the groups and give them the code to nuke the 'Anti Hadis' out. 'Anti Hadis' who were banned from the groups then considered themselves as martyr.

ii. 'Informal' Crusaders are those who with no formal religious background. They are professionals in their own fields. They are usually highly educated and highly intelligent people. Sunnis should be proud of them. They are well respected in their community. They soak up religious knowledge in such a short time. They are very well informed and could be at par with ‘formal’ Crusaders as far as religious knowledge is concerned. They are very persistent and assertive and most of the times strive to have the last say. They can sustain in long battles with precision execution of reinforcement artillery and their stamina seems endless. But there are also times when they get nervous breakdowns due to over exertion. They are true warriors of the Sunnis. They are the 'Kalid al Walid’ in the brigade of Sunni cyber defenders.


‘Anti-Hadis’ Commandoes.

‘Anti Hadis’ come from wide spectrum of backgrounds. Majority of them are with tertiary education. What is unique about ‘Anti Hadis’ is that there are no leader or such thing as ‘ulama’ in the group. They are individuals who each have their own understanding of the Quran. They freely share their views and ideas among themselves because they all agree to the principle: (which is taken from a verse in the Quran) — ‘listen to all views and choose the best’. They can be generalized into two kinds: i. Non-radicals ii. Radicals.

i. Non-radicals.

This group is the majority. They make up 85% of ‘Anti Hadis’. They like to be involved in the group discussions among Anti Hadis but rarely engage directly in any confrontation with the Sunni Brigade in the cyberwar. Nevertheless, most of them do follow the progress closely.

ii. Radicals.

These are the Anti Hadis Special Forces Commandos. They are the ones who are actively involved in direct confrontations with Sunni Brigades in the cyber world. They intentionally provoke the Sunnis into debates. They like to challenge and be challenged. They would contest just about anyone and they even fight among themselves (as far as ideas and understanding is concerned). They seldom reveal their true identities even amongst themselves, so nobody knew for sure who was behind a certain name in the cyber world. In general, these radical Anti Hadis Special Forces can be classified into three types and they are; i. Emotionally radical ii. Consciously radical iii. Rationally radical.

i. Emotionally Radicals

These are ‘Anti Hadis’ extremists. They feel that they have been duped into believing and doing all sorts of rituals and ideas, which they now find ridiculous. They would use all kind of bad words in their writings. ‘Sunni bashing’ is their expertise and their favourite targets are sensitive Sunnis holy figures such as Bukhari, Abu Huraira and the Ulamas. It is hard to comprehend what their objectives are for opting for these extreme measures, intolerance and prejudices towards Sunni, but one thing for sure, they rouse those extreme and intolerance Sunni fanatics to wage war against them.

ii. Consciously Radicals.

Their writings and messages are mostly harsh and stern but do not fall into extreme category. Probably because they are still in the state of excitement of their newfound belief and that reflects in their writings. Their articles and writings are more concentrated on the subject of ‘un-Quranic’ rituals and disciplines in our Muslim society today.

iii. Rationally Radical.

In this group are those who could recall most of the verses on any subject matters in the Quran by the verse numbers almost in an instant. Their main interest is to get the meaning of certain words in the Quran by the Quran itself (using tools such as the Quran Concordance, etc). Some of their works are very time-consuming due to the painstakingly meticulous method they employ. They mostly analyse certain key words such as shalat, bait, bakka, Ramadhan etc.


The Confrontation: Anti Hadis tactical warfare.

In the immortal world of cyberspace, there’s no need for bulletproof vests or underground steel bunkers. A confrontation in the cyber world is a showdown of minds. All that matters are wits, information, knowledge and understanding. All these are put to a test. These are the decisive factor that makes the difference. Roughly 95% of ‘Anti Hadis’ got their first introduction to their newly found understanding from the net. So this is the place where they most feel comfortable to put their understanding to a test — a confrontation. There seem to be a pattern of ‘Anti Hadis’ tactics in waging cyber wars against the Sunni Brigades. Below are generally ‘Anti hadis’ tactical warfares.

1. Ambush – As mentioned earlier, Anti Hadis favourite ambush are on ‘rubbish convoys’. This type of warfare is usually executed by ‘Anti Hadis’ radical newbies. They are testing out their knowledge. But don’t be surprised that sometimes, Anti Hadis themselves are the ones who pose as the ‘rubbish forwarder’. They intentionally collect religious rubbish on the net for the purpose of using it against the Sunni. Sometimes they would pose as a pious, uncorrupted Sunni with the intention of acquiring ‘ilmu’. They would then ask leading questions and set a trap for the Sunni.

2. Lure – Anti Hadis would post controversial articles or writings with the hope to get responses from the Sunnis. They set these as bait to get the Sunnis attention. The war will rage as soon as the first response comes.

3. Assassination – this type of warfare are done by the Anti Hadis ‘Elite Squad’. They are the anti hadis elites and they are after specific target, mainly the Sunni Crusaders. They never get involved with any ongoing clashes but they do monitor the Crusaders closely. Once a Crusader goes out of line, they will move in for a kill. They are also known as ‘Izrael’ (angel of death) because when they make a move it will be short, precise and decisive. Their mission — to demoralize the Sunni Brigades. But to some Sunni Brigade they are known as ‘The Devil’.


The aftermath.

One may ask what is the purpose of this entire theological fracas. What good does it do? Of course the war seems to be a never-ending war. It seems that it is reaching a stalemate — probably there will be a few sporadic clashes here and there, nobody will raise the white flag, and people will choose to believe what they want to believe. But there are two important points that need to be highlighted.

One of the most popular and easiest ways to ignite a war is by a surprise attack on convoys of 'religious rubbish' passing through. 'Anti Hadis' jump at this opportunity by ridiculing the Sunnis mainly to make a point on how absurd they think the sunnis religious belief is. This will in turn cause havoc and the war will drag on. Sunni Crusaders are aware of this tactics, this is classic 'Anti Hadis attack 101'. They will make sure there will be no 'rubbish convoys' passing through'. Therefore, the benefit of this is that at some point in time there will be a drastic decrease in the number of 'religious rubbish’ (which degrades the religion of Islam) being passed around on the net.

In a good heated debate neither party could afford to make stupid mistakes by relating references that do not exist. Either party will be a sitting duck if they do. All books and reference will be out in the open — Quran translations of all kinds, Bukhary Hadis collections, and a vast amount of other religious references. More people from both parties will start reading; more people will then begin to understand. At the end of the day, like it or not, all these theological fracas will create more Sunnis with the knowledge of the religion that they choose to believe in. At least then, they are no longer following blindly.

Amazingly in the end, the passionate but violent exchanges of wits and wisdom then turn out to be a blessing in disguise one might say. One shall find that debating is a form of learning method where one put one’s own understanding to a test, which in turn will further strengthen one’s own belief and gain understanding and tolerance. It creates wiser and well-informed individuals between the two parties and further strengthens their beliefs in what they choose to believe thus creating more people with open mind, tolerant, respecting others’ beliefs and most importantly non-judgmental. Ironically, 'anti hadis' could turn out to be the agents that help advocate and instill a stronger belief in the heart of the Sunnis. In the end both parties are winners and nobody’s a looser.



*writer's note*

Hopefully you will be able to see that debating/confrontation as one of the learning methods where you put your own understanding to a test, which in turn will further strengthen your own belief and gain understanding and tolerance.

If you wish to engage in one, I suggest that don’t get emotional if you were to find yourself on the losing end. Make some adjustments, re adjust and re-invent yourself and get on with it again. Perhaps you might opt for a more challenging battle – climb to the peak and confront those atheist and those agnostics. There the fight has to be at the same level of battle theatre (knowledge of science) since the Quran is no longer a relevant book of reference because they ( atheists) never believe in it.

Perhaps, then you will be at the point where you no longer follow but you explore, in an exploration into GOD.

© H. Muhammad

Shake Hands With the Devil

It have been awhile since i updated my blog.. but i feel flattered when a good friend of mine asked me about when I’m going to update my blog..so here i am..

I got this book few years back when i was job hunting.. it does mention something about bargaining for a higher starting Salary.. so i took this book from the shelf and purchase it without thinking.

From Frank L. Acuff’s track record, i think he supposed to be an expert in negotiation. Earlier he wrote this book called How to Negotiate Anything with Anyone Anywhere Around the World.

However its not Frank’s track records that amazed me.. the way he put his advises in a sarcastic way never failed to make me laugh when i was reading this book..Bottom line is that this book is cleverly written and his advises still sticking in my head when im doing my daily work or even bargaining for a lower price in a pasar malam(night market).

The book is written to help the reader on the following negotiations or problems(in Frank’s words Your Life Negotiations from Hell!)

1.0 Life Negotiations from Hell

• Surviving the Boss from Hell

• Getting work out of Slugs

• Bargaining for a raise or Higher starting salary

• Gaining Leverage without Authority

• Negotiating with a strategic partner who is screwing you

• Dealing with your Attorney

• Getting your real Estate Agent on Your side

• Findings common ground with people who are different from you

• E-Negotiating

My advise is that.. if you have even one of the problem stated above.. might as well get to your bookstore and purchase this book..

2.0 Seven Steps out of Negotiation from Hell: Stairway to Heaven.

2.1 Do Your Homework

• Planning is the most critical part of your negotiation strength

• Use a negotiation planner to identify all issues on your side and on their side(If you are doing sales,this template might help)

• Prioritize the Issues

• Establish a Settlement Range : - that is (Above Goal Position, Really Asking Position, and Least-Acceptable Position)

Remember: People might outsmart you occasionally, but they should never out plan you

2.2 Help Others Get What They Want

• Focus on the interest of the other side: as hard as it might be, is particularly important when dealing with hellish negotiation

• Lean towards a win-win negotiation as a goal for both sides getting a good deal

Remember: If you decide to take a win-lose approach, be careful. This can be a very small world, especially if there are people you’re trying to avoid

2.3 Go for it and Let them Beat you Down

• Keep a negotiation multi-issued

• Set an ambitious above-goal offer, so that you will have room for improvement to stay within your settlement range

2.4 Confront the issues Most Important to you in an Agreeable Way

• Confrontation is not a bad thing (although it get to your nerves sometimes) but almost nothing get resolved unless there is a confrontation

• Keep your negotiation to facts and figures.

• Avoid the following devilish words or phrases as it will invite negative thought on the other side

-“To be honest with you” (other side will think: Normally you are not honest?)

-“Obviously”( other side will think: it’s really not that obvious to me)

-“Any thinking person” (other side will think: Hey.. Im not exactly a potted plant here)

-“What you need to understand”( other side will think: I don’t know I have such a need)

-Etc etc.. you know what are these words/phrase.. don’t need to spell it out all of it.

• Confront and disagree in an agreeable way

-Pick the right time: Try to find a time and best climate for a confrontation

-Confront in private : Nobody likes to be confronted an embarrassed in front of other people

-Let the other side respond w/o interrupting: Pretty much a clear message

-Find something to agree with: How irony it is.. one of the best ways to disagree with another person is to initially find something to agree with.

-Etc etc…. more you got to get this book.

2.5 Use the rules of Persuasion

• Persuasion have much to do with negotiation : i.e the ability to get the other side to see things your way

• Following is the rules to be a at your persuasive best

• Use emotion to open up the mind of the other side

• Use logic to justify your claim

• Focus on the other side’s interest (What’s in it for them?)

• Fewer arguments to support your position is better( because people cant remember much small points, people tend to remember maximum of 3 BIG points)

Remember: People are going to exchange their hard earned money for two things (1) Good Feeling and (2) Solutions.

2.6 Build Trust at any Cost

• Trust is important because

-Nobody will tell you anything of importance if he does not trust you.: He might tell you his position on an issue, but that is not good stuff. Any good stuff is off the record.

-Once we lose trust, we can never get it back: Trust issues are almost impossible to repair

-Trust issues are distraction: Especially in hellish negotiations.

2.7 Make Persistence and Patience an Obsession

• Often, when somebody says “No” it often means “Maybe”. A persistence attitude will often change the decision made earlier

• Patience allows you to get information from the other side, particularly when doing step # 2.1. Do your Homework.

• Patience also allows you to get the best deals. (This is often hard for task- oriented people)

• Patience allows you to weight your options carefully.

3.0 Summary

Frank’s Shake Hands with the Devil, key points to survive and win a Develish negotiation is mentioned above, the book also specify the points to use particularly in a Life Hellish negotiation in point #1.

Frank’s story telling in giving out his pointers the most interesting part of the book.

Go get the book!